Attention : This is an emo post. Pls do not continue if you can't stand it. Just close the window.
Almost a full month since I last blogged. Many events happened. Though I wanna blog bout them, but I'm finding myself having no time at all to blog.
Holiday started 23rd. I went into holiday with a lightly sprained leg, bad nails and also without much cash. Went to a lot of places during the period 23rd and 1st of June. Went to Penang to attend a cousin's wedding, went to Ipoh to join Leo Forum. Wow...I'm bit amazed by that because it seems to me to be very rushy to go to two places in 7 days. 2 days in Penang, 3 days in Ipoh. Time passes fast. Now its 22nd of June.
Sprained ankle still haven't recover. Today went to try out playing futsal with the light sprain. I still can run, but...after the whole game, I can feel its very different. It hurts more. I shudn't have listened to my mom's advice. Though I disbelieve in Chinese Docs (Tit Tar), I have no idea what to do with a sprained leg. My mom, seeing the doc just apply some medication onto my leg, decided its not neccessary to go there anymore...after just one visit. Fine...Then I'm suppose to apply some "Tit Tar" medication myself, which is different with the doc's, with no idea whether it would recover or not. Now...its still the same...no improvement at all. Maybe I shudn't have listened to my mom. I will regret for life if my ankle never recover. I'll never be able to play sports anymore, something I love deeply. Walking wouldn't be the same. Early morning wouldn't be the same anymore either. The pain is constantly there...never leaving. Partly also because of my dad, wanting me to work with him at the instant I came back from Ipoh. Never gave me time to rest my hurting leg. I think I have a fragile body. Nobody understands that. When I stand too long, I can have backache..anyone knows? I don't think so. My leg hurts everytime I stand too long. Pain in the ankle, which would not recover so fast. Anyone knows? I don't think so...
Work is also a pain...work on sunday after 6 days full of working? I can't believe this. Its not starting work at 10a.m...but early morning??? What is this shit?? Why does anyone deserve this shit? WHY??? Even 1U working people have a day off every week. I hate this. I work from 9am till whatever time. I work till when the work needed to be done is finished. Is that not enough? Sigh...Sadness fills me so badly now its going to overflow. I have to ffk my friend because of sudden need to head to Penang. I don't have anything to do there...I become the driver and the slacker over there. Because I don't understand that project at all. Their meeting time, I was so sleepy I couldn't focus anymore on whatever I'm seeing. I feel useless there.
I really hate that part. Really...hate...working...on...Sunday...
I NEED A REST!!!
And I'm still only a student...
a student that is not ready to venture into working like I own my own business...
Why???
I still remember the first time I drive to University of Nottingham Malaysia Campus (UNMC)...the road is...really kampung, windy, small...maybe scary for some. I love driving there, and the air there. Both so nice. Very little car compared to KL, then...morning air there is so fresh...I can feel the chilly air going down my lungs everytime I take a breath.
Then, I also wondered...what would happen to me? I haven't slept without air-cond since...I was in primary school?? Around primary 3?? That is like...8-9 years of no fan, but only air-cond. I was pretty worried that it would be damn hot...so hot that I can't sleep. I kinda hate hot weathers because I tend to sweat a lot. I hate it because...sometimes I just took my bath...then...because of the "nice" weather, I sweat right after taking bath. Then, I also got worried thinking bout bathing...because...I'm afraid I would not be used to cold water bathing. There are many other things I worry bout, like food. I think I'm pretty pampered sometimes. Shit...
Now...its much more different. 9 months passed, and the small windy road is no longer there. It had been replaced by a much bigger and straighter road. Less fun to drive on, but, can drive faster on the new road. Hehe...
Hot without fan? Not really. Temperature can drop very fast at the place because it is surrounded by nature. With trees and hills nearby, temperature can drop to around 20-22 at night, approximately.
Cold water bathing...no problem. Just jump in...and jump...and jump...until cold is no longer felt.
And living away from home...I think in someway made me a much more mature guy. Maybe. Or maybe its because of my own failure at A-Levels that struck me so bad...I've decided to study for my exams. A thing that would not have happened in the past. Who cares bout studying last time? I would have just played games all the time, till one night before exam, and simply just take some book...read through it, and...go to sleep with no guilt. Always thought...there's always time. Took me long enough to realize...time is gold. I think...its much more valuable than gold. Lose time, you can never buy back. Lose gold, simple...just earn money, and buy back. Time?? Sorry, no amount of money can ever buy time back. I've wasted 1 and a half year at A-Levels, if I waste another year at Foundation...is it worth it? No. I don't want to pay ten of thousands of Ringgit just to start my tertiary education later than my Sixth Form friends. I regret...for not studying hard in A-Levels. Things...would have been very different if I studied for A-Levels. I would have been in Degree, same course with Darren and Zi Yian. I feel left out...for being the only Foundation guy in the group. When I see everyone discussing their Mathematics assignment...I will always think...I could have joined them discussing those...if only I studied. Haih...too late now.
I hope no one follows this path. It is a painful path. It leaves a deep scar in my life. A scar that I would never forget. No way, this shall be my motivation...on the upcoming Degree. I might not get average 75% for my studies in Foundation due to several factors, I certainly hope I can make it in Degree.
Another change in me? Driving style. I think I used to be pretty daredevil in driving last time, not to the point of extreme, but, speeding is my thing. Now...I don't see speeding as a neccessity. Its only for emergencies. Yep, I'm quite proud, I manage to maintain a good safe speed whenever I drive to Uni, or back to home. I don't wanna die one day, before able to enjoy some of things I've yet to complete in my life missions. Also, don't wanna make my family worry bout me. They still seem to worry, though I had told them many times, I drive slower now.
Also learned a lot of sports. Ping pong especially, though not too good. Bad side...I think I'm getting more hot headed than before, and talk more viciously. Just don't like some attitudes, and...boom...letup.
Here, I've collected some good and bad memories. I hope...the good memories remains. As for the bad memories, I hope I can forget bout it using the few months of holiday I have ahead, and go back in September this year...as a happier person.
Seeing I study Chemistry...I'd say my life in Uni is like a Boltzmann Distribution Curve. First up then down. Hahaha. I never thought I like Chemistry this much. I would like to thank my Chemistry lecturer, Mr Yeoh, for bringing in some interest in Chemistry to me. Still, I like mechanical stuffs more than chemical stuff. It is also him who brought the "fire" of study to me in the second semester exams. He reminded me of how much my father paid for my education, and how some people of my age don't have this chance. If I manage to score high marks for some of the exams...I'm gonna thank him so much =)
This is so much crapping. Should end it. End of essay...
